When Feedback Backfires: How to Reconnect with Disengaged Team Members
As a leader, providing feedback is crucial for growth and development. But sometimes, even with good intentions, our words can backfire, leaving team members feeling discouraged and disengaged. So, what happens when your feedback causes the opposite of what you intended?
Signs Your Feedback Missed the Mark:
Withdrawal
Does your team member seem withdrawn or less communicative after feedback? This could indicate they feel judged or criticized.
Defensive Reactions
Are they argumentative or dismissive of your feedback? This might be a defense mechanism triggered by feeling attacked.
Decreased Performance
Does their work quality or engagement dip after feedback? This could be a sign they've lost motivation or feel incapable.
Get Your Team Back on Track
Here's how to navigate these situations and get your team back on track:
Acknowledge the Impact
The first step is to recognize the impact your feedback had. Schedule a private conversation with the team member and express your concern about their disengagement. Listen actively and without judgment to their perspective.
Identify the Root Cause
Not all feedback is created equal. Explore what triggered their disengagement. Was it the delivery, the content, or something else? Identifying the root cause allows you to address it effectively.
Reflect on Your Approach
Was your feedback framed constructively? Did you focus on the behavior, not the person? Did you offer concrete suggestions for improvement? Honest self-reflection helps you refine your feedback style for future interactions.
Rebuild Trust and Communication
Disengagement often stems from a breakdown in trust. Reassure the team member of your belief in their potential. Emphasize your desire to help them grow and succeed. Open the conversation to two-way communication, encouraging them to share their thoughts and concerns.
Focus on Solutions, Not Blame
Instead of dwelling on the past, shift the focus to moving forward. Work collaboratively to identify actionable steps for improvement. Offer support and resources to help them achieve their goals.
Be Patient and Consistent
Rebuilding trust and engagement takes time. Be patient and consistent in your efforts. Follow up regularly to track progress and offer support. Celebrate small victories along the way to reinforce positive momentum.
Learn and Adapt
Every interaction is a learning opportunity. Use this experience to refine your communication style and approach to feedback. Seek feedback from others to identify areas for improvement and become a more effective leader.
Remember, feedback is a powerful tool, but it must be wielded with care. By acknowledging the impact of your words, addressing the root cause, and fostering open communication, you can turn disengagement into a positive learning experience for both you and your team member. This will ultimately lead to a stronger, more engaged team, and a more successful organization.
Leadership Practice
Recall a time that you received feedback that was very helpful and constructive. What were the main qualities of this feedback that made it so helpful? Write down five key reasons this feedback was beneficial and reflect on how you can incorporate those reasons into the feedback you give.
About Athena
Athena Williams, Founder and CEO of Tenacious Leadership Institute, has been supporting leaders worldwide to become more tenacious for over 20 years. She has found that tenacity is the key to sustained leadership success in today’s ever-changing world. Through her coaching and leadership development programs, she helps leaders expertly handle change, complexity and other challenges so they can quickly get better results for themselves, their teams and their organizations. Take the first step to becoming a tenacious leader by scheduling a call with us.
