Leadership Triggers—How to Work With Them, Not Against Them

In a recent executive team session, a seasoned leader we coach—we’ll call him David—was presenting a strategic shift for the next fiscal year. Midway through, one of the newer VPs raised a pointed question about the assumptions behind his proposal. David felt it instantly: a rush of heat up his neck, a tightening in his chest, a reflex to cut the conversation short and reassert control. He responded curtly, shutting the discussion down.

After the meeting, David said something we hear often from senior leaders: “I knew I was triggered. I could feel it in the moment. But I didn’t know how to stop it—or shift it.”

That’s where most leaders get stuck. They’re self-aware enough to recognize when they’re triggered—but they haven’t yet built the capacity or practices to reduce the charge over time. Instead, they rely on willpower, suppression, or post-meeting self-talk.

At TLI, we help leaders do something radically different. Instead of trying to manage or control their triggers, we teach them how to dissolve the trigger at its root—so it no longer hijacks their energy, derails their influence, or clouds their decision-making during high-stakes change.

That transformation starts with understanding the neuroscience—and then practicing a new way of leading.

Why Triggers Happen: A Neuroscience Lens

When a leader like David is triggered, the amygdala—the brain’s internal alarm system—activates in milliseconds. It perceives social threat (like a challenge to authority or perceived disrespect) and sends a cascade of stress signals through the body. The rational brain—the prefrontal cortex—gets temporarily sidelined. The result: more reactivity, less strategy.

Research from MIT Sloan and Harvard Business Review confirms that leaders under perceived threat exhibit diminished cognitive flexibility, reduced empathy, and impaired decision-making—all precisely when those traits are most needed.

This isn’t a character flaw. It’s biology. But it’s not permanent.

Recognizing Your Personal Triggers

Triggers are rarely random. They’re often tied to deeply held values or past experiences—like a need for control, respect, or visibility. For David, being publicly challenged activated something deeper than just that one moment:

“My triggers always felt like emotional landmines until I realized they were connected to things I cared about—being seen, having clarity, being trusted. Once I got curious instead of reactive, everything shifted.”

That shift—from reactivity to recognition—is the beginning of real leadership growth.

1. Name the Pattern, Don’t Shame the Pattern

The first step to transforming a trigger is naming it. Not fixing it, not fighting it—just labeling it.

This simple act engages the prefrontal cortex and deactivates the amygdala. UCLA researchers coined this “affect labeling,” and their studies show it significantly reduces emotional intensity and reactive behavior. Here’s an example: 

After the meeting, David debriefed with his coach. Instead of rationalizing or avoiding, he said: “I felt threatened and dismissed. I wanted to prove I was still the expert.” Just naming this diffused the emotional charge.

Applying It To Your Leadership

When you feel activated, use clear, non-judgmental language:

• “I feel defensive.”

• “I notice I want to shut down.”

• “This feels like a status threat.”

That pause and label gives your brain space to choose what happens next.

2. Connect to the Leadership Outcome You Care About

Once the trigger is named, re-anchor to what you actually want. Triggers narrow your focus to threat and control. Intentional leaders widen the frame back to purpose and desired impact.

High performers can rewire stress responses through intentional reframing. Stanford’s Dr. Kelly McGonigal calls this a “challenge mindset”—seeing the stressor as something to engage with, not run from. This mindset builds leadership resilience.

One of the TLI clients, David realized his short, defensive response derailed the meeting. In coaching, he reconnected to his broader outcome: “I want to build a team that thinks critically, not one that walks on eggshells.” That insight led to a follow-up conversation where he thanked the VP for raising the concern and clarified his vision.

Applying It To Your Leadership

Ask yourself:

• What’s the bigger outcome I care about here?

• What kind of leader do I want to be in this moment?

• What values can I act from instead of just reacting?

3. Build a Personal Trigger Recovery Protocol

You won’t always catch yourself in the moment. But you can always recover. High-performance coaching focuses not just on in-the-moment mastery, but also on post-trigger repair and reflection.

Neuroscience shows that self-regulation isn’t about suppression—it’s about rhythm. Practices that support parasympathetic recovery (like deep breathing or movement) help bring the body and brain back to balance. Harvard researchers call this “resilience conditioning.”

To continue the TLI client story: We helped David develop a personal protocol for future moments like this:

• A 90-second breathing practice after intense meetings

• A short walk before replying to difficult emails

• A weekly reflection on when he felt most reactive and why

Over time, this recovery ritual built his emotional agility—and gave his team permission to do the same.

Applying It To Your Leadership

Design a personal recovery plan:

• What calms your system after a trigger?

• Who can help you reflect without judgment?

• What small ritual could you use to reset?

Most leaders don’t need more awareness of their triggers. They need tools to unhook from them—and a path to build new neural and behavioral patterns that hold steady, even under pressure.

At TLI, this is the deeper work we do:
We don’t help leaders manage their triggers—we help them dissolve them. So the same conversations, meetings, or power dynamics that used to set off a reaction no longer carry the same charge. They become just another moment to lead clearly, calmly, and decisively.

Because when leaders no longer leak energy managing internal tension, they unlock far more capacity for influence, strategy, and trust.

If you’re ready to stop managing around your triggers—and start transforming them—this is exactly the kind of work we guide leaders through inside our Lead Through Disruption program.

Leadership Practice: One Action to Start Dissolving Triggers

The next time you notice a familiar trigger—whether it’s defensiveness, irritation, or the urge to control—pause and ask yourself:

“What value, fear, or story is this moment touching?”

Instead of reacting, get curious. This one question interrupts the pattern and begins to loosen its grip. Over time, this repeated pause and inquiry helps dissolve the emotional charge—so you can lead from presence, not protection.

Author

Athena Williams, Founder and CEO of Tenacious Leadership Institute, has been supporting leaders worldwide to become more tenacious for over 20 years. She has found that tenacity is the key to sustained leadership success in today’s ever-changing world. Through her coaching and leadership development programs, she helps leaders expertly handle change, complexity and other challenges so they can quickly get better results for themselves, their teams and their organizations.

Take the first step to becoming a tenacious leader by scheduling a call with us.